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Painful addictions

Updated: Mar 26, 2022

How do we see addictions ? I’m not an addict. But are we ? The many habits we have and the seeking out we do on a daily basis. Are they addictions? The drive in us in the pursuit of. Is an addiction only those habits that have negative costs to self and our community; or are they those little things in our day ‘that we just cannot live without?"

It can be described as being more about the desire to have - than the attainment of having the substance. What is the emotional charge that we are in pursuit of? What is the feeling ? That we are trying to suppress, avoid, pursue, and so on. Is it to increase the dopamine levels in our brain ( the feel good hormone )? The nanogram score in our brain rises to 94 points when we obtain the food of our desires and the score higher than the nanogram score for sex ( 92 nanogram points ). The dilemma when in an addictive cycle can very much be our moral compass. For example, we do want to loose weight. We know we should give up smoking. We know we should eat more healthy vegetables and fruits and grains but why is it so hard for most ? Why do we really salivate at the thought of having that cream bun, the chocolate, the cream cake that the doctor will surely notice in our cholesterol levels ?

The craving to enhance our dopamine levels and act on the craving signal can be overwhelming. The pre-frontal cortex ( reasoning part of the brain ) says that I cannot possibly go without that substance whether it be food, alcohol, drugs, etc . So , the cycle of an emotional charge ( feeling ) and then the desire to have the substance

( attainment ) craving ( desire ) can be destructive and lead to feelings of shame and guilt or anger when our capacity to make choices is limited. When the emotional charge and desire and attainment is contrary to our moral compass; and /or in conflict with social norms e.g. smoking cigarettes in year 2021 as compared to the 60’s it can lead to much pain and suffering for individuals and in some cases families and communities.


If your addiction is in conflict with your moral compass e.g. I like to be seen as a healthy, good role model for my children but in fact they see me drink alcohol and eat copious amounts of junk food, the conflict of identity , wanting to be seen one way, but acting in another ( and often in secret ) can lead to much suffering, pain, guilt and shame. There can be mood changes as a result, depression, anxiety, relationship issues, breakdown in financial goals, absence from employment and so on.

This suggests that motivation for change in an individual to make changes

( regardless of the type of addiction seen as small or significant ) can be overwhelming. This is when a psychotherapist can help guide, assist, and support, providing a non-judgemental and compassionate space for a person to work through their moral compass of what they do want in their life and what they want to let go.

Support and guidance is necessary within a non-judgemental and compassionate space because a person's moral compass can lead them in one direction; yet the addictive behaviour of cravings, desire, habit, and identity can take them in another direction. For example, in fluctuating weight issues, obesity, being overweight, alcohol addiction and so on.

The individual dopamine levels ( the feel good hormone ) have formed in the brain both whilst an infant in the mother’s womb and the environment, mostly developed before a toddler reaches the age of three years old. So, addictive behaviour whether benign or significant, is not an individual problem to ‘ just get over it and blame the individual for poor choices and motivation ", it can also be about the neuroscience of an individual hormone development that contributes to the struggle.

So, if addictions to food, alcohol, drugs, using your phone, etc ; causes pain and suffering, shame, guilt, affect relationships, work, your enjoyment of life and identity, it's important to find a supportive, non- judgemental, safe person, to help support and guide you. It can be a very difficult time in life filled with mixed emotions so it is important to process the underlying pain driving the addiction. It is not a linear process, there will be backward, forward, sideways progress, but it will be worth it. To be free and/or reduce addiction and attachments; to find our true self and identity amongst all the noise and clutter in life , can hopefully lead to a more peaceful and joyful life, and that has to be a good thing.


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